Your Memory Is a Liar

Your brain is not like a computer hard drive. It's better... because it lies.

When you save a computer file, it changes only when you choose to change it. But when your brain saves a memory, it revises it with the latest information. Maybe when you first met your current romantic partner, you couldn’t stand them. With today's more generous feelings in play, the memory will be changed. That ridiculous outfit they wore when you met might not seem so ridiculous--or you'll barely recall it. Maybe a lame joke now sounds clever. Maybe that first date wasn’t so hopeless after all.

Except it was. Every time you think back on a memory, your brain is kneading the hard feelings (or hardening the soft feelings—it can work in either direction) into something that matches how you feel now. This is called reconsolidation.

We need to believe that things make sense. We remember things as better than they were because things are so good now. We remember things as bad to justify the regret we feel today.

As you make hard choices, keep in mind that your memory isn't an unbiased record. It's re-shaped by the here and now.

Unbiased photograph of potentially biased memory. Sigh.