Love at First Sight--Is It Real?

Love at first sight (LAFS, seriously) is a dopamine action: it's a pleasing mismatch between our expectations and our excitement about a new person.

Yeah, well....

Researchers asked couples if they felt LAFS during an initial meeting, then asked how physically attractive they found the other person. The result? When people said they felt LAFS, it was usually with someone they considered especially good-looking. They didn't say they felt an immediate sense of intimacy or commitment. This next part is no surprise: Men lay claim to LAFS more than women. This is perhaps because men tend to get more worked up about looks than women do. Why should we trust that assumption? For every man in the study who felt LAFS, the object of their interest did not report LAFS. Sigh.

Love at first sight is probably not some sixth sense. It's probably just liking what you see.

One more thing, though: We sometimes claim or even remember feeling love at first sight later in a relationship. This could be to help us strengthen the bonds we're in. It's easier to believe in the love you have if you "remember" that there was some extrasensory bond from the start. Such a thing can help couples stay together when they doubt themselves.

From "Chapter 7: Finding the Right Person," Taming the Molecule of More